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Writer's pictureCarol Xu

Deng Adut: The Hidden Costs of War

Updated: Apr 28, 2020

"My experiences in Sudan have well-embroiled psychological and psychiatric injuries in me, like a beautifully crafted lullaby barbered into my soul."


Copyright ICRC/Victoria Ivleva-Yorke. A child soldier in Northern Uganda. The use of child soldiers is illegal under international humanitarian law, however many are forcibly recruited to fight in wars around the world.

Deng Adut shares his very personal experiences of war as a child soldier in the Sudanese civil war - witnessing young boys holding their guns up to their heads and squeezing the trigger; witnessing his desperate friend detonating a dangerous grenade clutched tightly in his hand; becoming embroiled in a web of disease, depression, and death.


In 1987, Adut's ambitions of becoming a fisherman and cattle-keeper like his father were abruptly shattered when he was forced to leave his home and family. He left without shoes or underwear; left for an unknown region for an unknown cause, against his will. Just like that, in a minute's notice, a young, scared little boy's childhood and innocence were abandoned on a long march to Ethiopia, and tainted by the agony of war.


"What child, upon seeing dead bodies, idling in pools of blood with blood flowing around them like torrential rain, will not suffer some sort of psychological damage?"


Every day and every where, Adut watched his friends suffer torturous deaths, and was constantly abused by soldiers as punishment for not following orders. Deng Adut became a child soldier at just seven years old.


By the end of 1988, Adut was suffering from starvation, and various deadly diseases. The warzone environment had a traumatic effect on him and his loved ones. Despite being eventually discharged, he still feels the battlefield's presence surrounding and enveloping him, haunting him wherever he goes. Adut calls for more people to understand the purpose of designing more lethal and more destructive weapons.


"His terrible story highlights the inescapable reality that whilst there have been enormous technological and legal developments in warfare in the 21st century, the effects of war on civilians continue to be both inevitable and devastating."


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